Thursday, April 1, 2010

Accepting the "Adoption" option in Nigeria...

One of the thoughts that came to my mind when I was reading the book "Dear Eliza" was the way the concept of ADOPTION is treated in this part of the world. It’s sad to see the pain and agony couples go through trying to have their own babies.

As a young girl I always fantasized getting rich so I could have more than enough for me, adopt a child and then marry someday but as I grew and got to understand my environment more, I realized that I would have to get married first and then discuss the adoption with my husband . I never shared the thought with my mum anyway, I can imagine the look on her face if I did, she would have flipped hahahahah.

My point of view on adoption is this; I believe the true test of love comes from loving a child you didn’t naturally give birth to than one you are bound to love because of the natural link. I also believe that there is more to fatherhood/motherhood than the mere birthing of a child by a man/woman; it’s a process that is attained as you go in life. Why would a couple try endlessly to have children naturally when there are babies thrown into thrash bins almost everyday, you can give meaning to the lives of any of these babies and all that love you have in your heart for your unborn child would make plenty of sense because it is unconditional.

I will not deny the “extended family” factor in this issue but I believe that once the couple in question understand what they want and the MAN stands his grounds ( na him people dey like give plenty wahala ) and they take advantage of God’s grace it will work. We have been adopted by God who is the author of the whole concept and I know he will give the wisdom and love required to whoever wants to take that path if we ask. I see God’s blessing being in that home every second of the way.

Like I said, this is my point of view, what’s urs?


  1. SO, you wan put your nam in trouble? Hahaha. As Naija person concerned, its not an easy thing to jump into o. I like this part sha... "I believe the true test of love comes from loving a child you didn’t naturally give birth to than one you are bound to love because of the natural link."

    If you like it, then discuss it with you future husband while you are still courting and see how he reacts. lol. If you dont marry a Nigerian [African], it might not be that difficult sha.

    - LDP
    pls check me out and leave a comment if inspired to. Cheers

  2. The apathy towards adoption in Nigeria has a strong cultural link. In some circles, it is seen as a taboo to even mention, how much more the practice of it. For others, adopting a child means "you are not man-enough to have your 'own' child."

    My sister and her husband has been 'childless' since they got married about 8 years ago, and one day, during one of my visits to her, I suggested adoption. You could see the look of disgust in her reaction. She asked me never to mention it.

    For me, I have plans to adopt at least a child. Because it's a clear way of demonstrating God's unconditional love and giving someone hope and meaning to life.

    But like you said, it is better discussed with your partner before strongly considering the adoption option.

  3. This was a beautiful write up. I salute you madam.

    I loved the way you link it back to the fact that we are adopted by God.

    You know before I was of the opinion that I can only adopt a baby and not a grown child because it would be harder to bring up. Now I think God takes us as we are and we should just take people as they are also.

    It is a test of love.

  4. The topic of adoption is one that leaves me uncharacteristically tongue-tied; I never find much to say.

    Growing up as a kid with untethered imagination, I kept imagining that someday, a filthily rich couple would walk in and claim to be my biological parents. I made up my mind to stick with my "old parents"; and it was somewhere within those thoughts I stumbled on this truth: blood ties are over-rated. Family is in the heart.

    Great work, ZionGirl!