Friday, January 22, 2010

My backward society and it's women

http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/01/22/pastor-taiwo-odukoya-finds-love-after-loss/

I read the news on the link above just today about Pastor Odukoya’s remarriage and I know I’m supposed to say I’m happy for him but… I actually tried to be happy for him but sorry those feelings are still working their way up… I know I’m being irrational with my feelings but… shey na my feeling no be ya own eehhh…(smiles)

It's real funny how a man becomes a widower and is expected to re-marry while a woman who becomes a widow is expected to remain that way

People quickly come to his defence saying that he's lonely and needs someone. Shouldn't that same argument hold for the woman?

My father died in 1985, 8 years of marriage was all my mother had, she was young, just 25 when he died. I remember the hell and high waters that was raised when she wanted to re-marry.

Today is the 22nd of Jan, 2010, 25 years later she is still single while they are all in their houses being cuddled by deir spouses.

At my Aunt's wake keep, while her body was not yet in the ground, the Pastors preached of him re-marrying. How nice.

My Uncle passed on almost 3 years ago now, his wife is still single, don’t even think she’s thinking of remarrying, I guess she wasn’t brought up to think that way

The widower is considered eligible no matter the age he loses his spouse... and the widow??? Don't even bother

It's a Man's world they say... I won't argue with that... everything around seems to agree with that…just sad anyways

The saddest part however is when a woman begins to see herself through the eyes of this *demented* society, living by all the standards and limitations that the society places in front of them

- You must marry before a certain age

- You must marry for the purpose of having kids

- You must have MALE kids

- You MUST love having kids

- You must love cooking

- You must cook

- You must love the kitchen

- You can’t have certain kind of jobs

- You shouldn't buy a car if you are single so men will not run from you

- If you buy a car make sure it is a very small one that you can't move or breathe in

... and still THE CHURCH seems to have bible portions to back these things up, virtuous woman they call it.

Well, my VIRTUOUS woman is not as lily-livered as the one they preach everywhere, she is strong willed so better get used to that!

She is not selfish yet she lives fulfilled and sees no limits.