Friday, January 22, 2010

My backward society and it's women

I read the news on the link above just today about Pastor Odukoya’s remarriage and I know I’m supposed to say I’m happy for him but… I actually tried to be happy for him but sorry those feelings are still working their way up… I know I’m being irrational with my feelings but… shey na my feeling no be ya own eehhh…(smiles)

It's real funny how a man becomes a widower and is expected to re-marry while a woman who becomes a widow is expected to remain that way

People quickly come to his defence saying that he's lonely and needs someone. Shouldn't that same argument hold for the woman?

My father died in 1985, 8 years of marriage was all my mother had, she was young, just 25 when he died. I remember the hell and high waters that was raised when she wanted to re-marry.

Today is the 22nd of Jan, 2010, 25 years later she is still single while they are all in their houses being cuddled by deir spouses.

At my Aunt's wake keep, while her body was not yet in the ground, the Pastors preached of him re-marrying. How nice.

My Uncle passed on almost 3 years ago now, his wife is still single, don’t even think she’s thinking of remarrying, I guess she wasn’t brought up to think that way

The widower is considered eligible no matter the age he loses his spouse... and the widow??? Don't even bother

It's a Man's world they say... I won't argue with that... everything around seems to agree with that…just sad anyways

The saddest part however is when a woman begins to see herself through the eyes of this *demented* society, living by all the standards and limitations that the society places in front of them

- You must marry before a certain age

- You must marry for the purpose of having kids

- You must have MALE kids

- You MUST love having kids

- You must love cooking

- You must cook

- You must love the kitchen

- You can’t have certain kind of jobs

- You shouldn't buy a car if you are single so men will not run from you

- If you buy a car make sure it is a very small one that you can't move or breathe in

... and still THE CHURCH seems to have bible portions to back these things up, virtuous woman they call it.

Well, my VIRTUOUS woman is not as lily-livered as the one they preach everywhere, she is strong willed so better get used to that!

She is not selfish yet she lives fulfilled and sees no limits.


  1. Excellently said. You should run for president haha

  2. hehehehe... Shey I can count on ur vote na?

    I'll tinks abourrit *winks*

  3. I totally agree with you that the world favours men most times but not in all societies... (look at how favourable divorce is for women in America) but that's an exception anyway.

    What really bothers me is why some women of this generation seem to have disdain for the roles they should be playing and have played well for generations, like cooking in particular... Not like a man shouldn't cook if he feels like it but a woman shouldn't expect this from him as his role, period.

    One might argue that some men have failed in their responsibilities thereby leaving their wives/women to play men's roles in addition to theirs... Well, in a situation like this a marriage councelor should be contacted because I'm not one.

    My point simply is that a woman should know how to cook and enjoy doing it. If she can't before marriage she must be willing to learn and fast, so her maid doesn't take her position as second wife or even displace her altogether.